Queer Eye and why I love coaching

Until recently, I refused to get Netflix because I know myself well enough, that I’d get hooked too easily… The other day though, I finally succumbed because I really wanted to see Ricky Gervais’ new show After Life.

Well, I actually don’t rate After Life but I did fall in love with Queer Eye.  I know it’s been around for a while and there are loads of glowing reviews out there and of course they have a huge fan base. But just in case you haven’t yet watched it, I highly recommend you give it a go: The Fab 5 – a group of 5 gay men – go and overhaul somebody’s life. To be honest, when a friend recommended it, I didn’t actually think it would be something I’d enjoy but I am loving it and it basically proves my point of what a difference a life coach can make. Cause that’s essentially what they are doing: coaching people.

I have literally been crying at every episode (in a good way!). It makes me so happy to see how they touch people’s lives and help them make changes for the better. But it also makes me sad that so many people don’t have the courage or strengths or whatever it else it would take them to reach out and get help in some form.

The bottom line of the show (and of what I believe in), is that we all have all the resources necessary within us to make these changes, to create a life that makes us happy. But the programme shows how it is infinitely easier and quicker when we get some support. Sometimes we get ourselves into situations where we feel stuck and we just don’t know where to even start with the changes. Before we can bring ourselves to make the first (baby) step, we feel complete overwhelm. In addition, most of us are conditioned into keeping it all in. We’d rather continue to suffer in anonymity and keep up a façade than “embarrass” ourselves by opening up, or making ourselves be vulnerable. Going on a TV show makes your story very visible, of course. And not everyone will want to do that. But I think it shows by example how opening up can bring healing.

Here’s what else the Fab Five (and coaching in general) can do for you:

• They will remind you to never stop loving yourself. They shower you with their love and lead you from a place of possibly despising yourself to a place of powerful self-love.

• Linked to self-love is self-belief and self-confidence. We’ve all been there: our confidence got knocked. But we can always choose to recover from that and get back up again. They teach by example: they believe in you – so you can, too.

• Stop the negative self-talk! By mirroring they will highlight just how negatively your self-image is and how you are hurting yourself by seeing yourself in this way. Change the way you talk to and about yourself and see how it changes your world.

• Break it down. Of course in the show, there is a lot of change all at once – but how about just starting with one little thing in one area of your life. It’s all about making a start, no matter how small. Get a tangible outcome and see its ripple effect.
• Changes in the external world lead to changes in the internal world. And vice versa. If we are surrounded by a lot of mess, it's likely that there's a lot of mess in our minds, too. And of course this can become a vicious circle. But - in Marie Kondo style - see the changes unfold when you get the physical world around you in order.

• Move on. Yes, shit things happen to us. Really shitty things sometimes. And Queer Eye for sure shows some painful experiences. But it also shows how you can move on from them and you might even find yourself stronger because of them.

• Let's introduce some lightness and ease and fun to our lives, even the painful bits. While coaching and dealing with potentially traumatic events can indeed feel draining and like hard work, it doesn’t always have to either. What if turning your life around was fun like that?